Disclaimer:

All information provided is for general reference and is not to be substituted for actual medical advice. We assume no responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions contained in the content of this article. We do not provide medical advice, only generalized information based on what evidence has shown and every case story referenced is an individual experience with several nuances and within the context of the client’s needs and values. Your experience is your own and you are welcome to consult with your chosen care team and cross-reference any information contained in this article and accompanying videos on our channel. Furthermore, we assume no liability for omissions or errors in any of the content from third-party information linked within this article. Third party websites and references could discontinue at any time at the discretion of the creator.

If you're planning a natural birth then you are going to want to know the 26 Essential Tips for True Natural Birth Planning, and in this article I will cover each one. You can also go deeper by checking out the entire playlist on my YouTube channel, where I have created a deep-dive masterclass on each of these 26 Tips.

*Note: This articles was SO big that we had to put it in 2 parts. Go read part 1 here.

In this article I will be going DEEP into all 26 Essential tips, but first, if you are NEW to the community and are not familiar with the Natural Birth Traps, the Empowered Birth Method, and don't know who I am, then I've included a brief introduction below. If you’ve already been following us on social media or this website for a while, then feel free to jump ahead.

Also, this blog is a choose your own adventure, just like everything else at Empowering Moms. You have 3 Paths to take, depending on your learning style or time constraints…

Path 1: The Surface Skimmer🩴— If you only have a few minutes to spare, or you just don’t have the energy to dive into a long article, this path will help you get the overall feel of it. Simply glance over the headlines in bold, dark blue text, and read any relevant sections you want to know more about.

Path 2: The Casual Swimmer🩱— If you have a bit more time, or you want the overall summary of the article, this path will help you learn what you need to while skipping the “fluff” in between. Read the bold text in each section and you’ll have everything you need to know.

Path 3: The Deep Diver🤿— If you like to know EVERYTHING then simply follow the traditional path and read the article as a whole.

Bonus Path: The Treasure Seeker👑— If you’re a serious student who likes to go beyond just ONE article and get all the deeper layers, including references and additional resources, then look over each section and click any links that speak to you. The deeper you go, the more you’ll uncover!

So now that you know your paths, let’s get into the basics! 

What is a Natural Birth Trap?

Throughout this article and the other content on this site and our social media channels, you will find references to the Natural Birth Traps, which is a term I coined back in 2022.

So what are Natural Birth Traps?

These are the things that undermine your confidence in planning a True Natural Birth.

You end up getting tricked. You end up getting pushed into interventions you weren't expecting. And because of the way that our birth culture and medical system has taught you, you fall into these without realizing it.

These traps are sneaky, because they follow a lot of the conventional, mainstream birth education and advice, which means you often won't realize you fell into a trap until it's too late. Now, I have talked a little bit about this inside of my book "Your Empowered Birth", however in addition to that I've also created multiple lists of these traps that you can grab off of my Freebies page. Each mini list contains an overview of the common traps, including Natural Birth Traps, Cesarean Traps, Pain Traps, things you DON'T want to put in your birth plan, and many more. You can get access here.

I will also be laying out the secrets of my signature Empowered Birth Method throughout this article, as well as share case stories, personal experiences both as a mom AND a birth coach, and I'll tell you how to go even DEEPER into your learning so that you can avoid falling into these traps and getting tricked out of your natural birth.

Why Empowered Birth Education Is Different

All right, so why do you want to pay attention and take your time with this article?

Well, first of all, a lot of birth education gets this wrong, and sometimes they get it right, but there's a piece missing. And I'm committed to you having a True Natural Birth and definitely an Empowered Birth.

If you've just stumbled upon this article and are not familiar with the Empowered Birth Method, I encourage you to check out our True Natural Birth Starter Guide, where I laid out the overview of True Natural Birth vs the Mainstream version of Natural Birth that often leads to trauma, pain, and unnecessary interventions. I also share the biggest mistakes you can make as a first-time mom, a seasoned mom, and even a VBAC mom, AND I give you the blueprint to understand and apply the Empowered Birth Method itself!

You'll also find powerful case stories, links to our social media and partnership sites, and you'll get to explore more targeted resources through our "choose your own adventure" format of the guide itself. It's fun, it's easy to follow, and it will help you plan and get your natural birth no matter your time or your budget!

About Me

So who am I first of all to tell you this?

Well, my name is Carly Bonderud and I'm a childbirth educator, coach, and author of "Your Empowered Birth".

I started off as a birth advocate for a number of years and was a rally coordinator for Improving Birth, supporting my dear friend, Dawn Thompson before I even realized that I would one day be creating my own Empowered Birth Movement!

You see, I had been a “star student” with my first pregnancy and I’d been determined to avoid the horrors that I’d seen on TV, in movies, and through my formal education. I’d been terrified of birth for many years because people kept saying how painful it was, how I’d be “begging” for the epidural, and that I needed to “leave my dignity at the door”.

I didn’t want ANY part of that, so when I found myself pregnant in 2012 I set out to learn all I could on how to have a relatively pain-free birth at home, where no one would touch me without my express permission. This led to me choosing a midwife and consuming birth education for all 9 months…unfortunately, while I had an encyclopedia’s-worth of natural birth education I didn’t recognize that I was about to fall into some deep psychological traps, which ultimately led to me being “risked out” of homebirth.

I managed to escape the scissors and the scalpel, but not without having to fight the whole time, and that entire experience had left me shaken and disillusioned. I wanted to know how it had happened that someone as skeptical, educated, and stubborn as I was had been so easily manipulated into the hospital, and that’s when I found Improving Birth, learned exactly what I was missing, and reclaimed my power with my second baby 2 years later.

Of course, it wasn’t enough for me to just reclaim my birth experience and get that do-over. I also wanted to warn other moms so they wouldn’t have to experience what I’d learned the hard way, and that was when I started planting the seeds that would one day grow into the Empowering Moms brand!

Empowered Birth Success Stories

Since 2014, I have helped moms who have been considered high risk go on to plan and get their own True Natural Birth experiences, completely hands-off if they want it, with them in the driver's seat.

These women are over 35.

These women have been told that they are “too fat”.

They've been told they are “too old”.

They've been told that they “don't go into labor on their own”.

And they've been told that their C-sections were absolutely 100% “necessary” later for them to realize that actually they weren't. (They just fell into those Natural Birth Traps that I mentioned.)

You can check out more of my story and the case stories of these amazing women inside “Your Empowered Birth”. It is on Amazon and it's also in the playlist on my YouTube channel.

I’ve also included 2 of my favorite case stories inside the Starter Guide. One is the story of the mom who beat the odds, Jenni. If you aren’t familiar with the story of the woman who kicked my butt and helped me co-found Your Empowered Birth Academy, then here’s the summary:

She had an unassisted hospital VBAC back in 2022, after emotionally healing from a traumatic birth that had her almost give up on ever having another child. Then she found me (or rather, I found her in a local mom group) and insisted on taking my classes and learning all she could from me.

We put together a series of free mini challenges over 10 days, called the Empowered Birth Workshop, and ran them live in my Facebook group in 2021. These workshops became the baseline foundation for moms in my community to finally get the context around the mainstream birth education and WHY it hadn’t prevented their traumatic inductions and c-sections.

Many women went on to plan homebirths, VBACs, and heal from their past traumatic births thanks to what I taught within those free workshops, and a few of those women even went on to work with me at a deeper level inside my group coaching program, as well as hire me as their virtual doula.

That leads to the second story of Rebekah, who arrived in our community during our second Empowered Birth live workshop in June. She was determined to have a VBA2C, after having had a traumatic first induction turned c-section at only 18 years old, and later manipulated out of her VBAC with her second child a few years later.

Rebekah found the workshop so helpful that a week later she emailed me with her birth plan, asking me to look it over. After seeing some things she could tweak in her plan I got on a call with her and we discussed what her DREAM birth would be. She confessed that she wanted to birth at home, but no midwife in her area attended homebirth, so she had assumed she had no options.

This is when I pointed out that babies are born in cars or unintentionally born at home all the time, and that if she wanted to labor at home as long as possible there WAS a possibility that she COULD get her wish and have a homebirth. I shared the story of my former rally co-coordinator Christine, and how she’d been told she was “not allowed” to birth at home too, and then when her baby was coming faster than she could get to the hospital the midwife had magically changed her mind about Christine being “not allowed” after all.

In Rebekah’s case, however, she chose unassisted birth for her own reasons, and I attended her as a virtual doula and coached her for 3 months so that she and her partner were confident enough to do it themselves AND know when to call in medical support if they needed it. Given she was only 5 minutes away from the hospital, this worked for them, and Rebekah reclaimed her power.

Go Deeper With the Empowered Birth Method

These are just some of the stories of the moms who chose Empowered Birth, and you can be one of them! The resources on our website and through social media are designed to help you just as they helped the moms in my community, and there are 3 main steps:

Step 1: Watch the Reset Your Mindset for Empowered Birth Mini Challenge

This deep dive set of masterclasses is the foundational piece that is often MISSING from typical birth education. You see, we live in a society that has been under the medical model of birth for multiple generations, and this has led to a lot of fear and misinformation being perpetuated.

(Where do you think your fears of “something going wrong” came from?)

But what if I told you that was only part of the story, and that there is some missing context that would help you release those fears? That’s what this challenge addresses, and once you go through it you won’t be as susceptible to falling into the Fear Traps.

Step 2: Read “Your Empowered Birth”

I wrote this book initially because I could see that the same social conditioning was often embedded in traditional education and within the birth community, where moms would often ask a question, get an answer, and then keep coming BACK with MORE questions. This creates reliance on “experts”, but as you’re going to discover in this article, relying on other people to tell you what to do and how to birth is exactly why so many births don’t go to plan. I’ve given you the mindset shifts AND the map to plan and get your Empowered Birth, and it’s almost as good as me coaching you directly!

Step 3: Go through Your Empowered Birth Workshop

As mentioned before, this workshop is what has helped moms in my community get past their fear and plan the birth they REALLY want. There will be additional references within this article where I tell you about what’s in this signature workshop. What you need to know for now though is that it’s FREE, it’s jam-packed with strategies and birth education, and every mom who has ever gone through it has become 10 times MORE likely to achieve a hands-off birth experience if they want it, and definitely don’t let others dictate their birth choices anymore.

If you're already familiar with these resources, then you will find even MORE value in what I share with you in this article, because each one is an additional piece that fits into the Empowered Birth System. Think of these as your supplementary education. We're almost to the end of the introductory content, but first, this article comes with a special gift!

Get Your BONUS Treasure!

Before we get started, I just want to let you know that this article started off as a quick list of birth planning tips. Be sure to grab it as your easy reference guide!

You don't even have to put in your e-mail.

All you have to do is click the picture and it will pop up as a PDF and you can download it directly to your own Google Drive which you can then keep forever. It's mobile friendly AND it contains the embedded links to EVERY Deep-Dive Masterclass in this series!

As I said, I am committed to you having a True Natural Birth, whether you work with me any further or not, or get any of my products.

I believe that information should be accessible to everyone regardless of their budget or time constraints, and so I have made it my mission to ensure that every piece of information I put out follows my Rule of 3 and Choose Your Own Adventure formula. This basically means I have 3 Paths for you to learn. You can skim the bold text in the article, read the whole thing, or take the Deeper Dive by also following the relevant links in each section.

The deeper you go, the more treasures you'll uncover!

All right, that pretty much covers the basics, now let's get started!

The 26 Essential Tips For Planning and Getting Your

True Natural Birth

We're diving right into the essential tips now, and I'm going to take a moment to tell you...most of what you've been taught to do to plan a natural birth leads to the mainstream version of "natural birth", NOT the real thing.

Think of it like this: You are craving organic ice cream, but when you get to the store you can't really figure out which is organic and which is the fake version because all the pictures seem to look the same. So you ask someone who works there where the real ice cream is, and they randomly point to a container without actually reading the label.

It says "Ice Cream", so at least it's not "Frozen Dessert", right? But then you look closer and there are STILL ingredients you can't pronounce!

This is what happens when you're looking at the mainstream natural birth tips, and even worse, sometimes you don't even GET the ICE CREAM, but instead it's the preservative-laden Frozen Dessert you were trying to avoid!

Essentially, what you want when planning a natural birth is to aim for a PHYSIOLOGICAL birth...the problem is that mainstream birth culture and our medical system doesn't know how to support that.

Therefore, to GET it requires you to do things differently than what most people will tell you, and to also be aware of the multiple traps that you could fall into as a mom seeking natural birth education. So strap in, because I'm going to lay out the final set of Essential True Natural Birth Planning Tips!

*Note: This articles was SO big that we had to put it in 2 parts. Go read part 1 here.

Essential Tip #16: Avoid the Due Date Mom Groups

What I typically see, and what I saw even as a new mom, was that when I joined those due date groups, everybody was planning a heavily medicalized birth.

They got to a certain point where they were getting close to their due date, and they were asking “How do I start the process to get myself into labor?”

Check out one of my other videos where I tell you about why this is a Natural Birth Trap.

But first what you really need to understand is that if you are joining those due date groups you're going to get a lot of induction talk.

And I do mean a lot.

There's going to be a lot of fear that comes up, and there's going to be a lot of moms that have not been on the other side of natural birth.

They're all in the same due date.

If you're in a due date group, you're only talking to people that are at the same level of pregnancy as you are and not any further along, so everybody is scared.

Or there's maybe one or two moms in there that have done this before…

But honestly? We're not going to be spending all our time, unless we're a doula, telling you what we know.

And again, it's very skewed.

So please resist the temptation to join those groups because it's just going to derail your True Natural Birth.

And while we’re still on the subject of due dates…

Essential Tip #17: Unsubscribe from Due Date Emails and Apps

I'm talking about the ones where they are saying what size of fruit your baby is, or otherwise telling you how your baby is developing.

You sign up for those due date emails and they tell you what's going on each week, and that can be fun…

Except for the fact that they're basing this again on a cookie-cutter textbook definition of how your baby is supposed to be growing.

And as I found out with my first, that's not accurate.

Your baby is still on their own growth curve.

Not only that, these due date emails are not really focused on you having a True Natural Birth.

In fact, their main goal is to get you as a consumer of their products.

Now, I'm going to be completely transparent…

Yes, if you go and get the Empowered Birth Toolkit, (or one of our Free Self Study courses) you're putting your name and e-mail in, and I am going to technically have products and services available.

However, unlike a lot of typical consumer-based businesses, I don't have any attachment to you buying from me.

You're still going to get the information.

I'm not trying to sell you into a whole bunch of products.

I'm not trying to get you onto other people's e-mail lists.

It's completely up to you.

A lot of times these emails are also trying to sell you into formula later on down the road.

So the longer you stay on that list, the more they start to slowly chip away at your confidence.

You're also going to get a whole bunch of mainstream information about what to expect at your next doctor appointment.

Which, if you've been following the Empowered Birth Method, you know we don't let the doctor dictate how we're going to do our pregnancy.

Instead we become aware of what's out there, and our options, and we create it ourselves.

And then we go to our doctor and we say, “Hey, this is what I would like your expertise on.”

But you don't go and get the entire package for the pregnancy.

You don't go and get the “natural birth package” from your doctor; because you don't know what's in there and it may not help you to have a True Natural Birth.

So these emails, I'm cautioning you right now, if you go in and you sign up for those due date emails, at some point you're going to start getting those emails that say, “Is your baby here yet?”

“Maybe you should do all the things.”

“Here's what you need to know about induction.”

“Here's what you need to know about the risks of going past your due date.”

“Remember, your doctor knows everything.”

And you know what? If you're 40 weeks…

41 weeks…

42 weeks…

You start to get the emails that say, “Hey, you've got your new baby.”

But you don't have your new baby.

And it's really frustrating.

So just do yourself a favor.

Unsubscribe and you'll have a lot more peace.

The same is true for apps, because again, pregnancy is NOT linear and one-size does

NOT fit all! In fact, you are far LESS likely to birth on your due date than any other point beyond 40 weeks. 95% of babies arrive by 42 weeks while only 75% arrive by 41 weeks. So if you’re following these apps and emails you could be off in your calculations by as much as 2 to 3 weeks.

Conception dates are also not reliable, because it still takes time for implantation AND no cycle is reliably going to be 28 days long every single month! You are better off predicting 10 lunar months from your last period than using a “conception calculator” or even a dating ultrasound.

So you really don’t need those emails or apps because all that they’ll do is try to undermine your confidence in your body while also trying to sell you baby products (which is how they make money in the first place).

That ties into another sneaky marketing ploy that preys on first-time moms, especially those wanting to breastfeed…

Essential Tip #18: Beware the “New Mom” Promotional Gift Packs

As a first-time mom you may be thinking, “Oh, I get a whole bunch of free stuff when I go to the stores.”

But you know what they're really trying to get?

Your mailing address and e-mail.

Why are they trying to get that?

To sell you more products.

Products that can actually undermine your ability to breastfeed after your baby is born.

Because they're promoting separation between you and your baby.

Telling you about your sleep schedule…

Promoting baby gadgets that soothe your baby OUT of your arms (where they are more likely to display feeding cues).

And basically giving you information that works against the biological imperative to breastfeed.

If you want to know more about this, go check out “Dr. Jack Newman's Guide to Breastfeeding”, and that will tell you more about why you really want to just keep your baby skin to skin and feed them on demand.

The other problem with these new mom packages is that typically they're giving pacifiers and that interferes with breastfeeding and latch, and it also is setting you up to “fail”.

And then they also start giving you formula coupons and samples.

And then eventually they start giving you entire cans of formula in the mail.

Because the whole point was to automatically give you formula so that you would start using it.

They also send you pamphlets in the mail talking about breastfeeding and how to do it…But they're giving the wrong information on purpose so that when things are hard they say, “There's no shame in supplementing,” and then they screw up your breastfeeding success.

We cannot ignore the fact that breastfeeding has been undermined for generations, and very often moms who want to exclusively breastfeed don’t get enough support and are told to “supplement” the very moment they have any issues.

It takes strong will to resist, even for those moms with an abundant milk supply, because it is a high-touch, often 2-3 year commitment and even I had days where I was frustrated. Those 3, 6, 9, 12, and 18 month growth spurts are not fun, and I totally GET it, but if your goal is to breastfeed then the last thing you need is to have samples of formula around.

It's not just for YOU to avoid temptation, but also to discourage other people who might assume they are “helping” you. It is just too easy for them to look at that can of formula sitting in your cupboard and shrug, saying “one bottle won’t hurt them”.

I know it can seem fun, even exciting to get free stuff, especially as a new mom. Believe me, I fell into that trap too and signed up for all the things, that’s why I know what’s in a lot of those gift packs are not worth putting down your personal information.

They really don't give you anything you need.

I have never seen a single mom package offer any coupons for baby clothes.

I've never seen a single mom package offer anything useful.

It's always been A diaper (and babies end up choosing their own brands so resist the urge to “stock up” too).

It's been formula coupons.

Pacifiers.

A bottle.

Sometimes you get a little tiny bit of cream, but you could just get the whole bottle and not deal with the hassle of trying to cancel from this new mom package that keeps sending you formula and baby food every single freaking month for the next 3 years!

Because that's literally what happened.

It came to my house, and I'd signed up for so many packages so I could never make sense of which one I needed to cancel.

I ended up giving them all to the food bank.

So if somebody else signed you up for a new mom package and you're getting things delivered, you CAN just give it to the food bank.

There are moms who need that stuff, so it is nice that it's available.

But if your goal is to breastfeed…

And your goal is to have an all natural pregnancy and postpartum…

And have your child brought up more naturally than a lot of our consumer-based society would have you do…

Then you need to be very cautious about anything free to see what the actual intention is.

And again, I'm going to just be completely transparent here…

I give this information out for free because I am committed to you having an Empowered Birth.

My agenda is to switch the consumer-base from the medical system to more intuitive.

To help you embody the mindset of an Empowered Mom and make the decisions.

I do have a business.

I do have products.

I do coach clients.

And at the same time, this is just my passion.

So yes, in addition to providing education, I'm also going to be talking about my products and services.

I'm going to be talking about my business.

I'm going to be sharing things from other birth influencers.

But at the same time, I'm going to give you the valuable information you need to help you to have an Empowered Birth, whether you work with me or not.

And you know, that's different than a lot of people out there that will give you a tiny little free thing.

And then they're just trying to sell you into something else.

Which leads to another trap moms run into when planning their births…

Essential Tip #19: Beware the Mainstream Mom Groups

You need to choose your mom groups carefully.

I have been in several mom groups over the last 10 years, helping moms to avoid the induction…

The C-section…

The medical interventions that the care provider is pushing.

Helping them to get out of their fear of natural birth.

Helping them to be able to navigate this toxic culture that says that you don't get a trophy for having a natural birth.

There is so much more against natural birth than there is for it and even less for True Natural Birth.

Even the moms in the natural birth groups can fall into the trap of perpetuating information that sabotages True Natural Birth.

They think that their natural birth was painful and traumatic and they're trying to say, “You can do it, but it's mind over matter”…And that scares a lot of people away, and they're not aware that they actually fell into what I call a Pain Trap.

If you want to know about those traps, then grab the freebie guide where I listed out 22 of the biggest Pain Traps that make natural birth more painful than it actually needs to be. Many will surprise you, and I’ve compiled this list after my own natural birth experiences and what I see perpetuated in mom groups that I already know doesn’t help.

But basically, they're still thinking about birth in a way that is not going to help you.

Because you're going to go into that mom group…

You're going to ask a question…

And you're going to get millions of different answers and not all of them are good.

So there are two natural birth groups that I do highly recommend, and that is because they happen to be run by childbirth educators and doulas and women who are passionate about True Natural Birth.

One is for Natural Birth and Homebirth, and the other specifically supports moms who want a Natural Hospital Birth.

The majority of the supporters in these groups are passionate about Informed Consent.

These groups are also full of other birth workers that are also passionate about Informed Consent.

Are there some people that are just looking to sell in that group or to trick somebody into buying their product?

Yes, and at the same time, that's why you want to be a discerning consumer.

That's why I also show you everything. So that you can tell the difference between somebody who is leading you in a direction you want to go vs. somebody who is just trying to get your money and doesn't care if you're having a True Natural Birth or not.

I actually care about you having a True Natural Birth.

So that is why I'm completely transparent with everything that I teach.

When I first started out as a birth coach I even built my own Facebook Group, The Empowered Birth Community, where I did the bulk of my live teaching and hosted my challenges. Of course today the group no longer can function the way it used to, thanks to the increasing restrictions that Meta keeps imposing, and so just like we sometimes need to shift our plans, I also needed to pivot to a new way of teaching.

I do this primarily through my 3 Paths to Empowered Birth, which you can learn about deeper inside the True Natural Birth Starter Guide on this website. As a brief overview, I’ll mention that Path #1 is a Do-It-Yourself Path which you can take every single piece of my free content that I put out on social media.

You follow all of my social media channels.

You get the Empowered Birth Toolkit.

You sign up for the newsletter.

And you can piece the entire Empowered Birth Method together yourself.

You can do it and it's easy and it's free.

The only drawback to this is it does take a lot because I'm constantly putting out the information.

But because you're not getting direct access to me, I'm happy to just give you all of my information.

I can't answer questions all the time.

I can't work with just anyone who comes to me.

So I'm protecting my energy and at the same time, I don't want you to be without help.

So I created the Do-It-Yourself Path and I've put all of my magic out there so that even if you can't ever ask me a question…

If you don't get to me in time…

Or this is for somebody else and you're not sure if they would want to buy anything…

They can still get the magic.

I'm not hiding anything.

It's not behind a paywall.

The only thing that's really behind a paywall is me.

So if you want access to me, then the second route that I suggest is Self-Study.

This is for you if you happen to be someone who can really go through a course and get the gist of what you need.

And then, maybe there's one or two things that you're not quite clear on, but you'll reach out for help.

You'll ask your question inside our Empowered Birth Community or hit reply to one of the weekly newsletters, and then we can go from there.

In addition, there is an upgraded version where you can get even MORE support through our Self-Study VIP programs, and if you want the highest premium level of support then Your Empowered Birth Academy not only gives you access to direct email support and additional resources, but you’ll also receive personalized coaching support through 2 separate calls you can apply for at any time, at no extra charge!

One call is your “help, I’m stuck” 15-minute laser session, where you can ask your BIGGEST question or work through a fear or challenge that can’t be easily resolved through email support.

The other call is your “Empowered Birth Plan Strategy Session” where we go over all your workbooks after you’ve completed the program and find the perfect path for you to get the best chance of having your dream birth, as you have created it. We also spot potential challenges you might face later on, and we provide additional resources.

This allows you to get the targeted help you need NOW, while also lowering the barrier for access to our Premium Services, because Path #3, Premium Coaching is NOT accessible to everyone…

This is the fast path and has the highest rate of success as EVERY client has gone on to take control of their birth experience, regardless of what actually happened.

However…

I'm very protective of my energy.

I don't work with just anyone.

When I'm running my classes, I'm looking for certain types of moms that are looking to create higher levels of transformation in all aspects of their lives AND make an impact for their communities, their families, and for those they feel called to serve.

My one-to-one coaching is even more inaccessible and expensive.

So again, I only take one to two clients per year, if that.

And it's usually based again on my energy, my capacity and what I'm doing.

That is why this website and blog exist and why I put out my information for free, so if you're loving this, I'm going to encourage you again to like, share and subscribe to my YouTube channel.

You can also leave comments, however, I can't guarantee that I'll get to them right away.

The fastest way to get to me is to join my newsletter and then you just hit reply to any one of my emails.

You can ask your question, and you'll get support that way.

Because you know, you can go into those mom groups and you can try to get all of the support, but if they are perpetuating the same traps over and over, it's really not going to help you.

I've seen it too many times.

And there are a few mom groups that I'm in, and I'm dropping advice, and I'm dropping my magic. I'm dropping my links to my freebies and people still are not taking it.

So I'm giving them the answer that they need.

And I'm giving them the map to exactly what they want to do.

And they're not taking action.

So part of the reason I put this out there for free is if you're taking action then you're already doing more than 99% of the moms out there.

There are a lot of moms that say they want a True Natural Birth, but they're not even willing to go and watch a free video or read an article.

So congratulations on being an action taker and getting this far!

I'm so proud of you! Because the first step to Empowered Birth is to take action and decide you DESERVE an Empowered Birth, and that leads to the next step…

Essential Tip #20: Believe You Can Birth On Your Own

You need to assume that you can birth your baby naturally.

A lot of the time when you're out there looking for natural birth information, you're going to fall into those traps that are going to cause you to doubt whether this is even possible.

I'm talking about when they say that it's going to be painful…

When they say that it's going to be a struggle…

When they say that things go wrong.

You need to get out of those Fear Traps.

You have to basically assume that you could birth your baby anywhere, even under a tree.

All of my clients know that they may have high risk labels…

But if they never had surgery…

If they never induce…

If they don't even go to the hospital…

If they don't even have a doctor present…

They know that their bodies are either going to birth…

Or they're going to recognize that they need medical help.

But they don't automatically assume that they're going to need medical help.

Instead, they're of the mindset of, “I could birth my baby anywhere.”

“If I'm in the car and I'm driving somewhere and I go into labor and baby's coming fast, I got this!”

“If I'm at home and my partner's not there and I can't get the midwife to me, I got this.”

“If I happen to be in the hospital and the nurse or OB is telling me they won't attend me unless I agree to this vaginal exam that I don't want, I know that they just don't touch me and I badass birth my baby. And I show them that they are actually just backup. I got this.”

That's the mindset you need to have when it comes to planning and getting your True Natural Birth.

This is why you NEED the Right Mindset, which is achieved by releasing the underlying fears and programming you’ve been immersed in since birth. No one is BORN afraid of birth, they simply learn it.

In our birth culture (particularly in North America and the U.K.) we’ve been taught to blindly trust the “experts” and pain medications are seen as a necessity. However, in other parts of the world there are women who simply assume that they can birth naturally, and they do not have these fears.

Likewise, I’ve been running an experiment in my own home in how I’ve raised my children and my daughter has grown up without any fear of birth. In fact, she already knows she won’t be birthing in the hospital.

It’s not easy to unlearn what you were taught, however once you release those fears you are able to see the truth about what your body is capable of, and you are no longer susceptible to the scare-tactics of the medical system.

And that leads to…

Essential Tip #21: Learn How to Confidently Say NO

You can say no to anything.

Even if it's policy.

Even if the medical system says that it's not possible for you to birth the way that you're saying you want to birth, you can still say no.

You can say no to them telling you, “You can't have a home birth”.

You say, “No, sorry, I'm still having my baby at home.”

You can say no to that vaginal exam.

You can say no to that gestational diabetes test.

Now the thing is that you don't just want to say no just for the sake of saying no, and a lot of people get this wrong when they tell you, “Oh, you can say no to that.”

Others will push back and say, “Oh, that's dangerous advice.”

The truth is that it's only dangerous if you're going against your own instincts.

If for whatever reason you feel that maybe you should be saying yes…

Well, one way to tell that is…Do you feel expanded and relieved when you're saying yes?

Or do you feel kind of contracted and yucky and it's like…“I don't really want to say yes to this but everybody around me says I should do this and I don't know…Maybe if I don't say yes, I'll be a bad mom and I'll just do something wrong?”

Which again puts you back in that Fear Trap.

So if you feel like saying no would be lifting a huge weight off of your shoulders, then that's probably the right direction for you.

This is why it’s important to first release your fears, THEN gather the evidence, and only once you have the full picture do you make your plans. If you feel pressured to make a decision and you aren’t given all the information it is much harder to challenge your care provider, even when you know that what they are recommending isn’t what you want.

Too often moms will compromise or try to come at their OB (or “medwife”) with logic and data to support what they want, but this is another trap you don’t want to fall into!

Instead, you need to understand the reasons your care provider is pushing back and prepare for that pushback in advance, which is why the Birth Advocacy Report is a powerful resource! It lists the 5 Categories of Resistance and when combined with the advanced Birth Advocacy tips inside Your Empowered Birth Academy (as well as the tips listed here) that’s when you are no longer just reading a “script” or asking questions, but instead leading the conversation as the Birth Conusmer.

You see, if you continue to ask questions with the idea that your care provider is “in charge” or in a higher position of authority it creates a power imbalance where you’re essentially playing out the role you might have played as a young child trying to convince your caregivers to let you have what you want, or get out of doing something you don’t want to do.

The medical system was built during a time where women were automatically infantilized, and these same attitudes of “doctor knows best” are embedded in our culture. We can’t simply pretend that a few scripts will automatically help us get on even footing, especially if the inner work isn’t there first.

While those birth advocacy phrases ARE helpful, they require the right energy behind them to actually work, and that’s why I cannot stress how important it is to know which types of underlying fears your particular care provider is dealing with, while also having a handle on your own fears so that they can’t pull you down into a Fear Trap right along with them.

This report is free inside of the Empowered Birth Toolkit, and it’s the most powerful resource that allowed Jenni to challenge her own doctor without alienating him or needing to “fight” for her birth.

Once you have this report and can confidently say NO, then you’re far more likely to be able to assess whether it’s worth changing your plan at all, and that leads to…

Essential Tip #22: Learn the ACTUAL Risks

In either direction, there are always risks.

In fact, when I was teaching my clients how to assess risks, what I found is that they all have different interpretations of risks.

They take a look at the numbers and they're like, “Oh, that's all it is? Well, why am I afraid of that?”

And then there are others that are like, “I don't really want to be that 0.1%. That's a huge no for me.”

And my dear friend, Dawn Thompson even talks about this in a lot of her content.

You can't just go by what other people say is a risk.

You really have to filter that through your own values and your own intuition.

This is why it’s important to assess what YOUR unique level of risk is, as well as assess your tolerance for certain thresholds for those risks.

1% may not seem like a big deal to you, or it is too much, and neither of those assessments is “wrong”.

Likewise, there may be things that others find to be a “deal breaker”, whereas you aren’t concerned about them because you already have a backup plan to handle it.

Inside the Empowered Decision Making Workbook there are multiple questions that help you assess risks and benefits when it comes to interventions or other things you may be concerned with.

The bottom line is that only YOU can decide what’s worth the risk and what backup plans are needed, and no one else can tell you what’s best for you.

Not only that, but sometimes the proposed recommendation isn’t the only option after all, and that leads to… 

Essential Tip #23: Explore All Alternatives to Interventions

A lot of times mom will say, “I have no choice.”

“They say I have to do this, so I guess I have to do this.”

And the truth is that there's always an alternative, even if that alternative is just not doing the thing.

That is always an option.

You can say no to anything.

One of the alternatives to any intervention or proposed treatment is to not do it.

And then you can also be like, “Okay, well, what if I wanted a little bit more support, but not this, but something close to that, what would that look like?”

And again, the Empowered Birth Method teaches you how to come to your own conclusions about the kind of level of medical intervention that you might want, if it came down to it.

Because you create your own options.

You don't need to have anybody dictate what your options are.

Which brings us to…

Essential Tip #24: Be Your Own Best Expert

One of the things that sets my clients apart from a lot of other moms is that they know that they are their own best expert.

And this is how I came into the energy with my second pregnancy, when I had already learned everything I needed to know from the birth advocacy side…

I understood the risks and the benefits….

I realized that I was actually the best expert on me…

And therefore, I was the best expert on whether or not my baby needed something or didn't.

No matter what fear was perpetuated in the culture that I was in…

The medical system…

My family…

Everybody who was worried about me having this home birth again…

After having had a complication come up the first time, which wasn't really a complication at all…And I had found that out later….

I was able to block out all the “shoulds” and instead tune into what I wanted and needed.

When you realize that you actually have everything you need to birth your baby then suddenly you're using the outside as a resource, not as a crutch.

This is part of the Empowered Birth Method.

As you aim for a True Natural Birth, you believe in your ability to birth.

You believe that you are your own best expert on you and what you need.

And then you call in what you want.

You don't take from everything, and you don't let anybody project onto you any of their fears or limitations of what they think is possible.

This then allows you complete FREEDOM in your choices, which come from your own inner knowing, NOT from what others say you’re “allowed” to do.

You no longer fall for the scare tactics.

You are no longer intimidated by those who are in positions of “authority”.

You no longer allow ANYONE to tell you what to do, and you can also effectively communicate your needs without coming off as “hostile”.

The essence of Empowered Birth is that no matter what happens, YOU are the one who calls the shots. YOU decide whether to birth on your own or call in help, and you also recognize that no one else can birth for you.

That leads to the secrets that many who profit off of you remaining afraid don’t want you to know…

Essential Tip #25: RAISE Your Expectations and Aim HIGH

Birth is not just one day out of your life.

You really need to understand that if you are going to be planning your birth, you want it to go your way.

You do not want it to go anybody else's way.

You want to make sure that every decision that you make, you're making it with no regrets.

One of the worst things I heard as a birth advocate after I gave a mother information about her birth options or told her what I do is…“If I had known this, I wouldn't have done this and this wouldn't have happened.”

The regret is part of the trauma.

My dear friend and original inspiration, Dawn Thompson got into Improving Birth and now Birthify specifically because a lot of women just did not know their options.

They didn't know the risks and benefits.

They didn't know that they could even say no.

And because of that, they didn't have the right information.

They made choices based on what the medical system told them, and it screwed them over.

And I fell into this camp too.

Part of the reason I got into Improving Birth with Dawn in the first place as one of the rally coordinators for my area was because I really resonated with that message.

If I had only known that ultrasounds can be off by as much as 5 pounds in any direction,

I would not have automatically assumed that my baby was too small for dates.

I would not have given up my home birth.

I would not have gone to the hospital.

I would not have been traumatized.

However, I also would not have created Empowered Birth.

I would not have created my book.

I wouldn't be teaching what I know…

And when I first learned the truth, this lit a fire under me. I asked, “Why aren't enough women being told their options and their rights?”

That's why I'm here.

So even if you have had a previously traumatic birth and you're like, “You know, I wish I'd known all of this stuff.”

I'm just going to pause for a moment.

I'm going to tell you it's not your fault.

And maybe the reason why you had that experience is so that you could pass on your knowledge to others.

Maybe the reason you had it was because you just needed to learn something.

And now that you know better, you can do better.

You can have the Empowered Birth Method.

Again, it's simple.

It's easy to get.

You have the free path.

You have the path of Self-Study.

Or if you really want to work with me, you can always  fill out an intake form and I'll let you know if there's a spot available for you for one-to-one coaching.

Maybe I have open spots for laser coaching.

Maybe I'm doing a group program.

Something might be available, or I'll pass you on to someone else who can help you, who I know I can trust to give you exactly what you need.

I want you to have an Empowered Birth. You DESERVE an Empowered Birth, and I’m committed to getting you the information, the tools, and the support to have one, because there are way too many negative stories out there, and it’s time to flip that around.

And that leads to…

Essential Tip #26: Immerse Yourself in POSITIVE Birth Stories

Birth is amazing!

It is the most transformative, powerful moment of your life!

And when you have an Empowered Birth, you're an Empowered Mom for life, and no one can take your power away from you again.

When I had that beautiful, True Natural Birth with my daughter, my eyes opened up so much to what was really possible for me.

And my clients have had the same experience when they've taken complete control of their birth experience, and they've had an Empowered Birth.

They suddenly go on and they're like, “I can do anything now.”

They've led their families in a higher direction.

They've been able to change the way that they were approaching their businesses.

They've started businesses.

They're more confident in their bodies.

They're more confident in their parenting.

And not only that, but they have this beautiful birth experience.

They recover from their birth easier.

They have an amazing postpartum.

They're completely connected to their body.

And they're like, “You know what, I just want to shout this birth from the rooftops!”

So again, birth can be amazing.

It does not have to be scary.

Even if you're planning a True Natural Birth and you're thinking to yourself, “How am I going to cope with the pain?”

I'm just going to give you the secret here that sometimes there isn't that much pain.

Sometimes it's just pressure.

Sometimes once you really shift into tuning into your body, you're like, “This is transformative. I don't mind these contractions because on the other side of it is something so powerful.”

Plus, you get a really good oxytocin high!

It's just incredible!

And I love being able to help moms have that experience at every level!

I love serving my clients because I get to be part of their birth experiences.

The thing is, it can be hard to get those positive stories. Too many times the moms who have them are silenced or told off for sharing them. That’s why I created the Empowered Birth Community to be a safe container for sharing those stories.

I don’t allow fear-based birth propaganda inside MY community. I will always flip those stories around, bring in additional context, and help you to see where something is “missing” so you don’t have to stay afraid.

I also do this at a deeper level through my workshops, my classes, and through the videos on my channel. I am committed to helping you see past the Positive Birth Trauma Culture where moms will share the “good” parts of their stories without recognizing that to someone else who understands TRUE Natural Birth, those things are traumatizing.

I never wanted cervix checks or to “leave my dignity at the door.” The very way that even “positive” birth stories in our media and social media are perpetuated as “normal” is something that drives me to continue this work and get the real messages out there.

As long as the cultural narrative continues to normalize birth trauma and medicalized birth, it will be much harder for those of us who actively fight against that kind of birth experience to get the support we deserve to have.

My clients come to me not only to learn what they weren’t taught, but also because I am one of the few people they can trust to be real with them, who won’t make them “wrong” for wanting better for their birth experiences than what the outside world says is “safest”.

I support moms who want to birth at home, unassisted, after multiple c-sections or inductions where they have been traumatized.

I support the moms who want to level the playing field with their care providers.

I support the moms who just want to have someone believe in their ability to birth

naturally, no matter what their age, size, or past experiences were.

I stand for my clients and for every mom who shares her story, and I’ll stand for you too.

The resources I’ve created and collected over the last decade will help you. I’ve curated them, I verify the sources, and I also add my own perspectives based on how they’ve helped my clients at the highest levels who have the greatest challenges.

It is my mission, and it is something I believe in. Information is free, and you can take all you need. I only ask for one thing in return…

Connect With Us And Pay It Forward!

If you have an Empowered Birth, and you'd like to share your story, I do take testimonials.

I do take case stories.

I love to hear from my audience.

So make sure that if you do want to connect with me, you just email us at hello@empoweringmomsbirth.com and someone will be there to support you further.

I read all the comments and every email that is sent to me, and I use those questions, stories, and comments to help me in creating MORE resources for you and for the rest of the Empowered Birth Community.

So thank you for getting to the end of this.

Again, if you don't have the Empowered Birth Toolkit, I'm just going to remind you that this is an ever-transforming resource.

It's a file folder, and I put things in, and I take things out.

So I can't even tell you what's in it, except for the Birth Advocacy Report, which is something I always keep in it, just because of how much it helps my clients.

But everything else is interchangeable.

I sometimes put in free videos and challenges, I put in meditations, I put in modules for my actual program, Your Empowered Birth Academy.

I put in little bonus guides…

Things that I'm working on.

Sometimes they're not even fully created yet.

It's just like, “Here's a teaser of what's to come.”

“Here's something that I just created over the weekend.”

And you get access to that.

You also get access to my weekly newsletter, which I put out.

And I give you a deeper dive in what's going on in the Empowered Birth Community as well as what's going on in the Empowered Birth Circle, which is my group of birth workers and what they're creating so that you kind of get everything without having to be on a million different newsletters, and the ones that you are subscribed to are not going to put you astray and have you fall into those Natural Birth Traps.

Because when you're planning a True Natural Birth, you really can't be following the mainstream advice.

So again, thank you so much for reading to the end and if you found this valuable, Pay It Forward.

Happy Empowered Birth Journey!

Namaste,

~Carly

This article is also part 1 of a 27-part series of essential tips for planning your Empowered, True Natural Birth and avoiding some of the most common traps for birth planning and navigating pregnancy. It likely has not escaped your notice that the second you become pregnant you are constantly being “sold to” or otherwise given “advice”. Empowering Moms is different. I don’t tell you what to think, I tell you HOW to think, and how to remain in your power, so that you can trust your intuition and do what’s best for YOU, not what others think is “Best”. The Essential Birth Planning Tips series is designed to help you in your Empowered Birth Journey. If you want to go deeper, or you have any questions, you can comment below or better yet, email the team at hello@empoweringmomsbirth.com.